I wonder if oblivion hurts?
Tattered frays beckon me to see
Beyond this land of shadows
Past the treeline
In this world of trees
I can't see the forest anymore
Weird Like GrammarThe weirdest things make me happy
Like being alone in public,
And standing in line for coffee
Wanting to get something different,
But chickening out and saying,
I'll have what she's having"
And that day she was having a drink called Ramona
Constantly changing her hair
In a world where people stare
informally at the informality
Of ordering someone else's drink for them
I memorized yours
With ever passing day,
I gave myself away
In take out boxes
And small recipes for tea
You told me stories of the people you knew
I told you stories,
Secretly about you
The strangest things made me happy
Like the smell of pesto, marinara, and dish soap
Because when you came smiling in from work
You smelled remarkably like
A dishpan pizza
We'd lay on the bare couch
Spraying ourselves with soda or pizza sauce
The CageWhen did we stop playing pretend?
Was it the day all our task
Became a cast
Around the broken form of a body
Burdened to it's very core
With what the future held in store?
Did we lose our inner child?
Like that time we last our moms
Int the supermarket
How we scrambled trying to find it,
But it was gone
Talking to an old friend a few rows over
We stopped playing,
And stopped learning how to grow
The lessons we learned in school
Where just enough to teach us
How not to make fools out of ourselves
We lined our childhood achievements on shelves
Like little league trophies
And instead of finding new ways to be proud
We burn out
Making money for a man
Who doesn't know our name,
And would never care to know it
We are numbers on a screen to him,
But we have fire inside
If we only ever cared to show it
It's comfortable in the cage
Choose to live there if you must
But it's still a cage
LullabyI dreamed a dream
And so it seemed
That I would die while dreaming
A peaceful end
New to begin
So is with every new beginning
My ReligionI just have to accept
As I climb the ladder to self reliance
That failing use of my heart
Is just a broken endless theory
Of a broken endless science
The introduction of my fears
Of being alone and shattered
To the suffering of the world,
So I suppose I shouldn't complain
When you disappear
First for a month
Then for a year
I told you how abstract you were,
I meant it as a complement
You were just the perfect amount
Of beautiful and terrible
Your breath was the wind,
And your teeth,
Injected thunder into my veins
For once the pain I felt wasn't internal,
But distance became a desert
You left me praying for a thunderstorm
Clinging to the side of the mountain
Begging for a little rain
So I climb,
maybe a higher elevation
Will please those angry gods
That continue to keep you from fo
Dear, HeartBrace for impact
I'm sure you aren't recovered
From all the turbulence,
And here we go again
Though the asteroid field of human emotions
So if you can be troubled
And don't spill your drink
Because I'm sure you'll be drinking
When all the moonlight spills,
And the fingertips slip
From their holsters,
Down you go
Pierced and bleeding
By the camera flash
While she rides off into the sunset,
But lets not fade to black just yet
No, you've got so much left to hurt for
So play some Johnny Cash
Let the man sway you to sleep
Sleep has always been better
Than reading what she wrote
Than opening that last letter
MirageYour heart is a mirage;
Mine a thirsty traveler,
And you look like every drink
Of every drop
Of every desert spring
But when I get too close
Leaving me gasping
MomentumIt was never her hair
It was never her smile
It was never the burning
She left of desire
It was the way that she painted
My world with her mood
It was all in how she spoke
In the way that she moved
I Deserve BetterYou left me crying one evening
In the Autumn rain
Cursing teardrops on my phone,
And in my heart I already knew
That you weren't coming home
Still I tried my best
Working to fix our love
That should have been an amputee
Because when something dies
You cut it off
You don't leave it to fester and bleed
It still breaks my heart
When I think of you,
And I know we've both moved on
So I hope someday you read this note
I hope you see that you weren't wrong
I prayed so long for a miracle
After you left me for dead
I know it may seem immature
There was nothing to do but beg
And a nameless god delivered
He sent me sex, company, and lust,
And held back love
Until my heart was healed
Until again I learned to trust
Wherever you are I wish you well,
And that's not easy to do
It's hard to not wish vengeance
After all you put me through
I wish you hope
I wish you luck
I wish you love, but not from me
Without the pain
I would have never seen
What it means to truly be free
After MeI bet he's warm and inviting
I bet he has strong arms to wrap you tight
I bet he smells like work and wonder,
And I bet you forgot about me tonight
I'd say you've made a life without me
I'd say moving on wasn't all that tough
I'd say that you don't always cross my mind,
And I really wish that lie was enough
But the words unsaid still sting,
And I hate myself for crying
Tears that you never see
Knowing how much you'll love
The man after me
I bet you're saying that it won't happen
Because you've never felt like this before
I'm sure you think I'm being ridiculous
But you've never seen me broken
You've never seen me bleeding
Screaming on the floor...
The words unsaid still sting,
And I hate myself for crying
Tears you'll never see
Knowing how much you'll love
The man after me
I want this to last forever,
But forever is a long, long time
16.12.14I heard Rudy quiver
and guide lost oxygen
to his cells when he said,
"my biggest fear
is that one day
I will hear about
a black boy dying
and I won’t flinch.” and when I did
I tore open the skin beneath
these chipped nailbeds
just to remember
what loss looked like
feels like loss
our shoulders depressed
with a hundred
and thirty two voids
weighing down like anvils
carry the heaviest coffins
our feet walk unjust
soil parted by waters
we haven’t polluted yet
but our hearts,
with their social arrhythmias
and rich flutters, ache
with one vigor
one lacrymal loss
one dark sob
one fleeting life
don’t let another slip these
hold on to this steady heartbeat
and the rest only microseconds
vindicate your unjust soil, the nails
hammered into each coffin,
deaths zooming by deaf ears
hold your ears to shame
hold on to you
and i'm happy nowThis sounds kinda weird
But I’m glad- so glad that you
Pushed me aside
Because I didn’t end up behind you in line
I didn’t grow up as a pine
I grew up as an oak
And you think you’re so special because you keep your needle leaves in the winter
Because you think that keeps you warm
Because you think pines are so much better than oaks because there are more like you,
I grew up as an oak
And even though my leaves shrivel up and die
And leave me the cold and alone in the winter
My leaves come back in the spring with a new essence of life,
And I do not envy you, you who are stuck with all your mistakes, unable to shed them.
Mirror MirrorMirror Mirror on the wall
I have a problem I need to solve
How come all the vigilant eyes
Make it feel like a wound in salt
Every time I see my reflection
How come I only get more questions
Why is every piece a lie
My soul and mind at intervention
So Mirror Mirror riddle me this
How come I can’t find blissfulness
Are you really on my side
Or just a darkly false abyss
Why Bother?Why bother?
You don't feel it
Like I do
You don't say it
I have to
You don't understand
You never have
I love you..
Why does it feel like a lie?
Why do you seem like a liar..?
You don't need to forgive me
Well, that hurt.
Doesn't matter, I suppose
Why even bother..
This is hopeless..
Like everything else.
Poetry Session:My True FamilyPeople say those you live with are your family,
that is complete bullshit.
That no matter what you go through they'll be there fore you,
how many more lies will humans go around spreading?
Yes I have a family, a mother, 3 sisters and a brother.
But I was the out cast to most of them,
they even argue among each other.
I was always different from them,
I often wondered why?
But I figured it out pretty clear that they're demons in disguise.
My always said that we need to stick together,
that we're all we have.
Well mom I found another family.
I know this one won't last.
You want to know the truth,
of I honestly truly feel?
I acknowledged only the youngest in the family,
the rest of you aren't even real.
I was never happy mom,
it's putting on a mask.
Shakira you are ghetto as hell.
Even though you're no whore you don't have class.
JaQueal you're gifted in many ways,
but damn you are mean.
But with your attitude right now you'll never fulfill your dream.
Sierra, Sierra you are alway
i wake up every morning at seven-fifteen
and get dressed in five minutes.
i usually have leftovers for breakfast
but some mornings i use the excuse that i feel sick
because sometimes i'd rather feel empty.
my mother tells me that the reason why i'm single
is that i make myself look unapproachable,
as if that hasn't stopped anyone before.
she says that if i was more friendly,
i'd probably be with someone by now.
when i was 12 years old,
i came home from a long day of school,
absolutely craving some food.
as i was eating my third slice of pizza,
my brother called me a "hungry hungry hippo."
to this day, i have one or two slices at most.
i used to love wearing shorts
until i realized that fat girls aren't designed to wear shorts.
according to society's rules, i should just wear jeans,
even if it's one hundred and three out
and i'm absolutely burning up.
i write all of these poems to express my feelings
but when it comes to telling someone how i really feel
i usually freeze
LetterI wrote this
To tell you
How I feel
But looking at you
Your face is smudged
As though Depression
Took his charcoal
On the canvas of
Spots in your mind
He paints the colors
Of your heart
Stealing the rosy red
Of your blushing cheeks
Of your soul
The joy that
And every breath
A little more
Each shattered piece
Of your spirit
Burning a hole
In your mouth
Down to the
Soles of your shoes
No more lives
To revive your static heart
The bitter tasting
For you to hear
And save a
For your wrists
So that you bleed
But there’s no one
Your silent screaming
You lay here
Form on my lips
A VECES NO PENSAMOSA veces no pensamos, que en esta vida, hay que hacer todo lo único extraordinario, pues no sabemos cuando dejara de latir nuestro corazón. La vida no se hizo para estar triste ni enojado. Y vivimos con el reto de ver lo bello de cada día, pero se nos ha ido olvidando gozar esos momentos. Todo parece una simple imagen de la vida ante nuestros ojos, que nos da igual verlo gris o negro, sin ningún rastro de luz en tan vividos momentos.
Yo se que en mi vida he hecho cosas que no son de mi agrado, pero vivo para aprender de ello y ultimadamente vivo con la idea de que el respeto, la confianza , el querer y el amar están desapareciendo en este mundo. Que la ira, el rencor, el miedo y la maldad.......hhhhhaaaaaa son los crueles organizadores de nuestros destinos y que no podemos hacer nada en contra de eso. Pero yo digo que si podemos hacer algo, aunque sea solo una voz ante el profundo abismo que es la humanidad, respiro ante el hecho que pue
Reset.Pitter patter the sound of crying rain.
Whom else known this feeling of pain
The loneliness resides deep within my heart
A mirror of façade, I can’t tell apart.
Smiles brightly painted fake, a world of despair
A clock lay broken, beyond ones repair
Glass shatter to a thousand pieces, reflecting thy memories,
The cinematic record of life bears my treasuries.
A spark of glow shines dimly in the dark,
Welcomes me heartily with open arms
The forsaken time does not stop as the earth carries on
Who will remember me, when I’m last gone?
“time to go,” as I left the world that once was mine,
A faint drip of tears,
I wonder who….. is crying for me this time?