I wonder if oblivion hurts?
Tattered frays beckon me to see
Beyond this land of shadows
Past the treeline
In this world of trees
I can't see the forest anymore
Weird Like GrammarThe weirdest things make me happy
Like being alone in public,
And standing in line for coffee
Wanting to get something different,
But chickening out and saying,
I'll have what she's having"
And that day she was having a drink called Ramona
Constantly changing her hair
In a world where people stare
informally at the informality
Of ordering someone else's drink for them
I memorized yours
With ever passing day,
I gave myself away
In take out boxes
And small recipes for tea
You told me stories of the people you knew
I told you stories,
Secretly about you
The strangest things made me happy
Like the smell of pesto, marinara, and dish soap
Because when you came smiling in from work
You smelled remarkably like
A dishpan pizza
We'd lay on the bare couch
Spraying ourselves with soda or pizza sauce
The CageWhen did we stop playing pretend?
Was it the day all our task
Became a cast
Around the broken form of a body
Burdened to it's very core
With what the future held in store?
Did we lose our inner child?
Like that time we last our moms
Int the supermarket
How we scrambled trying to find it,
But it was gone
Talking to an old friend a few rows over
We stopped playing,
And stopped learning how to grow
The lessons we learned in school
Where just enough to teach us
How not to make fools out of ourselves
We lined our childhood achievements on shelves
Like little league trophies
And instead of finding new ways to be proud
We burn out
Making money for a man
Who doesn't know our name,
And would never care to know it
We are numbers on a screen to him,
But we have fire inside
If we only ever cared to show it
It's comfortable in the cage
Choose to live there if you must
But it's still a cage
LullabyI dreamed a dream
And so it seemed
That I would die while dreaming
A peaceful end
New to begin
So is with every new beginning
My ReligionI just have to accept
As I climb the ladder to self reliance
That failing use of my heart
Is just a broken endless theory
Of a broken endless science
The introduction of my fears
Of being alone and shattered
To the suffering of the world,
So I suppose I shouldn't complain
When you disappear
First for a month
Then for a year
I told you how abstract you were,
I meant it as a complement
You were just the perfect amount
Of beautiful and terrible
Your breath was the wind,
And your teeth,
Injected thunder into my veins
For once the pain I felt wasn't internal,
But distance became a desert
You left me praying for a thunderstorm
Clinging to the side of the mountain
Begging for a little rain
So I climb,
maybe a higher elevation
Will please those angry gods
That continue to keep you from fo
Dear, HeartBrace for impact
I'm sure you aren't recovered
From all the turbulence,
And here we go again
Though the asteroid field of human emotions
So if you can be troubled
And don't spill your drink
Because I'm sure you'll be drinking
When all the moonlight spills,
And the fingertips slip
From their holsters,
Down you go
Pierced and bleeding
By the camera flash
While she rides off into the sunset,
But lets not fade to black just yet
No, you've got so much left to hurt for
So play some Johnny Cash
Let the man sway you to sleep
Sleep has always been better
Than reading what she wrote
Than opening that last letter
MirageYour heart is a mirage;
Mine a thirsty traveler,
And you look like every drink
Of every drop
Of every desert spring
But when I get too close
Leaving me gasping
MomentumIt was never her hair
It was never her smile
It was never the burning
She left of desire
It was the way that she painted
My world with her mood
It was all in how she spoke
In the way that she moved
I Deserve BetterYou left me crying one evening
In the Autumn rain
Cursing teardrops on my phone,
And in my heart I already knew
That you weren't coming home
Still I tried my best
Working to fix our love
That should have been an amputee
Because when something dies
You cut it off
You don't leave it to fester and bleed
It still breaks my heart
When I think of you,
And I know we've both moved on
So I hope someday you read this note
I hope you see that you weren't wrong
I prayed so long for a miracle
After you left me for dead
I know it may seem immature
There was nothing to do but beg
And a nameless god delivered
He sent me sex, company, and lust,
And held back love
Until my heart was healed
Until again I learned to trust
Wherever you are I wish you well,
And that's not easy to do
It's hard to not wish vengeance
After all you put me through
I wish you hope
I wish you luck
I wish you love, but not from me
Without the pain
I would have never seen
What it means to truly be free
After MeI bet he's warm and inviting
I bet he has strong arms to wrap you tight
I bet he smells like work and wonder,
And I bet you forgot about me tonight
I'd say you've made a life without me
I'd say moving on wasn't all that tough
I'd say that you don't always cross my mind,
And I really wish that lie was enough
But the words unsaid still sting,
And I hate myself for crying
Tears that you never see
Knowing how much you'll love
The man after me
I bet you're saying that it won't happen
Because you've never felt like this before
I'm sure you think I'm being ridiculous
But you've never seen me broken
You've never seen me bleeding
Screaming on the floor...
The words unsaid still sting,
And I hate myself for crying
Tears you'll never see
Knowing how much you'll love
The man after me
I want this to last forever,
But forever is a long, long time
It is okay to weep in the night
for the woes of days long past,
and I take flight
from the future
that unfolds before my blessed feet
for I am a coward
pray bury me deep
hurricanes are named after people for a reasonwhile in memory of the dear p.s. ; it had the thought of everyone else too. dream well.
you thought tragedies
only happened in movies,
and sometimes in books.
you never thought there was a thing
like a soul-stealing crook -
then it happened.
and you didn't know what to do.
you couldn't accept the fact
that a sack of bones meant
and you loved it, called it your own.
cradled it in your arms
and made it your home.
you knew rainbows couldn't shine
without a little rain. but a little rain
now forged itself into a hurricane.
and waves are crashing
your eyes sting with pain.
you blame yourself everyday
to satisfy a lonely fame.
passion was dirt as dirt was dust -
it broke your heart, and made it rust.
eye of the hurricane was blue and pure;
but when it leaves you like this
there won't be a cure.
I can't believe it.
I gave them a reason.
I know I don't belong, Yet I'm with them for no reason.
I'm hard to understand, they're easy to explain.
But I speak the truth of them they call me insane.
You say I'm problem when I am the victim.
You are fucked up ones, my story is a sitcom.
No, more like a drama because that's all you guys give me.
My mind is shattered, yall beat then I'm battered.
It's the injuries I receive that you guys never see.
I hide my feelings from you guys, because yall seem to criticize,
That I am always the different and you believe I have no life.
I did at one point, but now I have died.
You guys came in the picture and became parasites.
I am your host, you guys cannot see.
You fill me sadness, and it eats at me.
I cannot take it, my heart, you all have breaked it.
My love is what take, it will be yall I will forsake.
She was the only one, who could show me love.
Mom is right about Shania, a little angel fr
A random revelationIf ever God makes up his mind to trash me in hell..?
Without a question, worry or care,
I'll walk down there.
MeretriciousA sinkhole of foreverplay declared its own futility,
maybe in quiet reference to the sheer superfluity
of twin fertilities, her body and mine
(a subconscious breach, my body in mind).
In time i am drained of my fermented fire: my evenings expire,
having been atomized into prepositions to propositions.
Former selves surmised i'm made for this kind of faithless fission,
volitional hands deft with the slickness to
shatter that supposition:
i could never love like this,
shoved into casualty by this sickness
wearing my likeness like i really like this,
stripped of stomach lining and scraping off clothes.
i'm nose to nose with a displeasure coined
from the warped loins of what I've claimed to know.